The Ol' Reacharound

After the gig on Saturday night, Stan and I rehashed the show as we drove across the bridge. “That sucked” or “It wasn’t so bad” or “I actually had fun” were the 3 main categories of analyzing the show.

We’ve been doing Live Karaoke for 15 years at a handful of clubs in SF. Attendance and enthusiasm has dwindled consistently, as our friends get tired of hearing “I Will Survive” for the 100th time. Stan cares - he always cares - but I’m somewhat indifferent. It gets me out of the house and I usually have fun no matter how many people are there. Actually, that’s not true.

This night was no different than others. We talked about a punk kid who sang “Beverly Hills by the Circle Jerks, who told the audience to fuck off; a drunk, younger woman who sang “Here I Go Again” by White snake, who ended the song by swinging the mike and throwing karate punches and kicks; and yet another drunk woman who sang “Heartbreaker” by Pat Benatar, who decided to throw herself into our drum set, continuing to sing while halfway into the kit. Stan decided it was a good idea to sit on her. They sang as a team with their heads in the bass drum, while finishing the song. Oddly, this is not abnormal Live Karaoke behavior.

As we descended the east side of the Bay Bridge, Stan said, “You know that girl that sang Heartbreaker? When I was sitting on her she reached around and crabbed my…” Stan hesitated. I quickly finished the thought: “She grabbed your balls? “Yeah, it wasn’t a loving grab, she squeezed them hard.” I was dying of laughter, tears running down my cheeks. Stan continued: “After the show, she approached me, looked me in the eye and said, ‘You know I grabbed your balls, right?’ I wasn’t sure how to respond so I just said yes. There was an awkward pause and she said, ‘Well, aren’t you going to thank me?’ She was scaring me so I thanked her.”