Thursday, April 9, 2009

Pee Stream Shadow

There was a sign on the entrance to the 1st floor bathroom of the main Library that said, “Do not shower in the sink.” I was a bit befuddled. I thought this was common knowledge or, more like it, not possible. They were shallow sinks so you couldn’t even stick your head underneath the faucet. However, because they felt the need to post a sign stating such, you would have to believe that people were getting naked and getting wet in the sink

Upon seeing this sign, most normal would look elsewhere or just hold it. I, on the other hand, wanted to see what was going on in there. Public bathrooms are a wonderful source of material.

The door had long been taken off, for security reasons. A long hallway, wide enough for 2 people with large backpacks, opened up into a large bathroom. An island of sinks divided the room; the urinals and stalls were plastered to 3 walls.

I looked around and was disappointed. It was your typical Greyhound/Trans Bay Terminal bathroom: guys washing their faces and under arms, crazy people taking pisses on the floor, the homeless guy passed out in the stall with the door open and the floor drowning in a quarter inch of water (I hope). I had seen it before and wasn’t in the mood for it.

Being a library vet, I took the elevator to the 3rd floor to a little known, small bathroom that exists to the east of the elevators. I walked in and was delighted by what I saw.

At the only urinal was a crazy man, with his pants down to his ankles, taking a piss. Typical crazy guy fare, yes, but he was a good 5 feet from the urinal, his clear urine forming a long bridge from his penis to the bottom urinal.

Without giving it much thought, I lined up a little to the right of him, to get a good view of the urine bridge. I must’ve got him early because he had a good, strong stream going. It looked like it would last forever, but I knew that wasn’t the case. About 15 seconds in, the urine bridge began to fall. This was what I was waiting for. Like a fuse to a bomb, it made its way down the urinal, onto the back wall and on the floor, stopping between his feet. It was a first for me.

He pulled up his pants and left. I widen my stance and went to the bathroom.

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