Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Looking For Fluffy and the Fire Fighters

Fluffy and the Fire Fighters was 8 weeks overdue. Even though I received multiple emails from the library, imploring me to give it back, and I had driven by the by the library with the book in my possession, planning to return it, I never did. In 8 weeks it had moved from nightstand to entry table to my bag and back again. For some reason, I couldn’t seem to return the book.

On the way to work this morning, Fluffy sat on the front seat of my car, with the intent of returning it to the library. Instead of taking the usual 7th street, I changed direction, taking 9th to Larkin, which put me right in front of the library.

As I dropped off Fluffy in the return box, I wondered if they were waiting for the book. Were they pissed at me? I would like to think I was mentioned at their morning staff meeting:

“Ok, settle down. I’m gonna turn it over to Mr.Grover, our Book Recovery Specialist, and he’s going to talk to you about a few clients with overdue books,” said head Librarian Miss Weatherbee.

“First off,” said Mr. Grover, “thank you for attention. I know it’s frustrating when clients do not return books, especially kids’ book. We all know that the kids depend on the check out and return system to work and when it doesn’t it’s the kids that pay” The staff nodded, shaking their heads up and down.

He continued, “Specifically, I want to talk about a client that has Fluffy and the Fire Fighters. It’s 8 weeks overdue and I’m beginning to think it’s not coming back. The client’s name is Greg Kim. Does that ring a bell? Yep, I’m sure it does, he was late returning Fluffy Goes to School and Fluffy Meets the Tooth Fairy. Do you remember that fiasco?” A few clerks nod, looking around the room for validation.

Grover continued: “Because of the previous two Fluffy books, we gained some important intel on Kim, but I digress. Does anybody know Kim?” Grover looked around, waiting for a lone hand to rise. The clerks looked too. No hands. “Ok, we know Kim lives in Oakland,” Grover pauses to let the murmuring die down. He overhears a clerk say, “Oakland…typical.” Grover continues, “And he works near here - that we know. Also, our surveillance cameras caught him entering the library 4 weeks ago. He entered on Fulton, went into the bathroom and immediately left through the Larkin exit. Somebody in the bathroom probably tipped him off that we were looking for him.” Grover handed out copies of video from the surveillance camera. “Ok, that’s about it. If you see Kim, don’t engage him. Call Library security and let them deal with it. Have a good day and be careful out there.”

This was my morning fantasy.

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